Her Heart's Secret, Deepest Desire
by Insane Magician
Summary: OS The Black Mercy was deadly, a parasitic plant that induced sleep and granted the heart's desire in the form of a dream, and Kara was submitted to this power and incapacitated. But what if her desire was fulfilled? What if she reaches the end of a dream? If she has other desires? And her deepest, most secret wish already became true before she could be consumed could she survive?


_Disclaimer_ : definitely not my sandbox, and sadly I do not think I can even claim the sandcastle, but I guess I can fully state I'm decorating one of the rooms in it.

Supergirl is part of the DC Universe, this is done without profit, and to give fellow dreamers a chance to enjoy a dream, of a dream.

 **Her Heart's Secret, Deepest Desire**

Kara woke up, but it wasn't her usual wake up call.

"K _a_ r _a_!" A boy whined, finally shaking her.

"Wha —?" She questioned, feeling sluggish, and with a yawn, she rubbed her eyes. Yes, it _was_ a boy, but not one she expected. "Carter?"

He scrunched his nose, "what's a cater?" He was wearing a white jumpsuit, with the crest of the House of El.

"Kal-El," a woman, her _aunt_ Lara, chastised the boy who was twelve and looking too much like her boss' second kid. "What did I say? You could wake her, not needle her needlessly."

"But I wanna know what she's going to choose!" Her cousin pouted.

"Choose?"

"Kara Zor-El!" The woman turned to her surprised.

"Are you gonna be like my mom and dad, a scientist, or like yours, judge, or like our savior, General Astra and be a warrior?"

"Well, even if the Codex gave you an ease as a scientist and judge, you can now choose."

Kara just stared, took first the boy in a warm embrace, before engulfing her aunt in an even tighter hug. She knew this wasn't real, but she wanted to make the best of it.

* * *

She woke up again, as if she shouldn't remember . . . _something_. Her surroundings were surprising, and she knew she was in Krypton, her home planet. Standing from her bed, she looked at her clothes and was surprised by the delicate material. She had seen her mother and aunts wearing such a dress before. Not only could she choose her profession, she could also choose whom to marry within certain family. There had been several individuals who had expressed a wish to marry her she knew, and depending on the House, she would later speak with them in private to get to know the chemistry and make an informed and educated decision.

She left her room, still in a daze. A boy ran past her.

"Carter?" A pain seared through her being, not allowing other thoughts to overcome her.

"Kal-El, your father is waiting!" Lara called her son.

"Wait mom, Kara is awake!" He called back, giving her a hug, a hug she remembered, could have sworn she had received, in what could very well be, another lifetime. "Love you cousin."

"Love you too, bud," she whispered, feeling tears in her eyes.

"Kara, lovely to see you," Lara had approached them, and Kara was surprised by her lack of attention; she could usually tell where someone was. "Jumpy about events I see."

"Oh no, not particularly," she replied with a blush and a sigh. "I'm just, happy."

"You know I'm not your mother, I actually agree with your aunt Astra; even if you chose to oversee the birthing matrix, we'll be happy with the step you take," the woman stated, pulling back the blonde locks and kissing her niece tenderly, "don't forget to choose well with whom you get to spend the rest of your life."

"Miss Cat will soon give the holographic news ma," the boy chimed in, brimming with excitement, "isn't it great that she is now part of the council?"

"I swear, you like her more than you like me," the woman teased, earning a giggle.

"Miss Cat?" Kara felt her whole world shifting.

"Yes," at the wide eyes, Lara sighed softly and pressed their foreheads together, "her husband was a great warrior who used Astra's plan before her to save the core of the planet; Cat survived by sheer luck.

"Kara, she might not belong in a House because of this but, she's still a pillar, and she earned her spot; I have no doubt you are clear on this," she rubbed her cheek softly, "I'm glad you've grown, you used to act like Kal."

"M _aaaaaaaa_ ," he whined and she chuckled, giving in, "bye Kara!"

"Bye buddy," she answered, blushing at the puzzling look her aunt gave her. "Bye aunt Lara."

"Take care baby girl."

And they left. Before she could even think it all had to be a weird dream, she was shocked again and once again began walking. Almost as if she had forgotten all previous encounters, except waking up. Staring out a window, she caught a glimpse of Rao and breathed a sigh of relief, and nostalgia. Another shock ran through her system.

She found her mother, who began eagerly speaking of the procedures, and along with her father, whom she felt she hadn't seen in ages, guided her to the chamber. Kara felt like crying, but something told her this would only mean more pain. All the different Houses with whom the House of El wanted an alliance with, were present, with their respective candidates. Some where older, others her same age; she was the youngest among their generation's candidates, which meant they could now begin establishing and forging connections.

The House of La, headed by Sam-La, had two daughters, one who was Kal-El's age names Lois, and the other who was less than a month older than Kara, Lucy. Lucy was nice, firm, a writer from a House of Warriors, and an extremely good candidate, if Kara wanted to be one herself. She was considering it, if it wasn't for the fact that she mistrusted General La and his xenophobic ways.

Then, there was the House of Ol, with their last surviving son heading it, Jim-Ol of Vathlo. Kara couldn't deny the attraction, and the one name that popped in her mind was _James_. Once again, she was assailed by a pain that began on her solar plexus, and despite kneeling and sweating, it was clear that no one else saw what she did. The man, Jim-Ol, was the oldest one among their generation. He was part of the military guild, but also seemed to be inclined towards spending time in the art guild, action which was constantly frowned upon but not denied. Such were the perks of being the last of a House.

The House of Sch, led by Win-Sch, was a House of scientists. His only child, who was a year or two older than Kara and Lucy, was Winn-Sch, and who was hailed as the sweetest scientist by the community. The technological advances he developed were done exclusively towards holo projections and news, in a way, making sure that every kryptonian knew what was happening in their world. He was considered a boy wonder, and had plenty of fans. It made a jarring discrepancy from his father, who made educational toys, and from the other reality she really, didn't want to think about.

The last, was the House of Fo, and while this one had only one successor as well, Dam-Fo, who was older than Winn but younger than Jim, he at least had his mother, the famous house-less new high council participant, the first from the art guild to join. Cat, she was Cat, finally someone who looked and acted the same no matter the world. Thus, she felt there was no longer any conflict within her, and she fully relaxed; she, Kara, was home in those hazel eyes.

* * *

Kara decided to join the scientific to guild, but through gentle cajoling from her aunt Astra, their Savior, she was granted access to both, art and scientific guild. This, she expressed, was because they needed more collision of ideas; she wouldn't have been able to save Krypton, if it wasn't for Jor-El and Lara's contraption that make it real what she had wanted to help, and Cat herself had been instrumental to the saving of the planet, even if in some way her and her husband took Astra's place and he died instead of her.

"I know you Little One," she chided her niece, who still took her in a grateful hug, "I know you. You may have the facility for science and judge, that you'll forever love the arts."

"Aunt Astra, thank you," she felt pang and twinge of envy and remorse and sadness, but she survived. "I've missed you!"

"Well, you might help me work out how best to visit each city in Krypton and ensure our people are alright," she said with a tender smile.

"Blood binds," they said in unison, and Kara giggled.

"Don't forget to pick your new attire," she whispered, giving her beloved niece a peck to the forehead, "and I can get you a good word with Cat regarding her son."

The wink went unnoticed when the blonde got a far-away look before returning with a request. "I would like to meet her, aunt Astra, I would like to meet Cat."

"Little One, what are you saying?" She blushed at the question, unsure herself. "You've been working closely with Cat for the last year or so, I was merely joking. How else did you know I knew you wanted to join the art guild?"

"I meant, an official meeting," and she felt her face turning a bright shade of red, "with _her_ , not Dam-Fo."

"Hmmmm," Astra seemed to consider things, before nodding. "Okay."

Blue eyes widened at this, and with a parting kiss, she left. The minutes seemed endless and before long, eternal. For all she knew, she had walked through countless of dream scenarios, each depicting a wonderful life on her home planet, and she felt sadness swell. There was one thing, one individual, who would make it all right, even if nothing else was real.

"It is unusual, your aunt contacting me instead of you directly," she thanked Rao that her boss was still very much her boss. "Tell me, if this is concerning my son, why not ask Alura instead of Astra to speak to me?"

"Because I don't want you son, Miss Grant," she ignored the look at the way she addressed the older woman, not truly caring and smiling when the blonde took a seat; she decided to sit at her feet. "Cat, tell me, is this real?"

"No _Keira_ , this is a dream, and you better fight to leave it," searing pain in her abdomen, "tell me, what is forcing you to stay? Why would you want to stay here, knowing it's a dream?"

She fought the pain, unwilling to let this dream slip away; when she realized she didn't want to wake up as long as she had this chance, the pain subsided.

"I'm afraid reality might have you, but I won't," she confessed, fearful.

"Kara, in case you haven't realized, _I_ am not included for marriage proposals," she used that condescending tone she knew so well, making her heart _ache_ , "in fact, I do not belong to a House anymore."

"Then be part of mine," she begged, knowing she would give everything up if the woman said yes.

As though realizing this Cat pulled her chin up, made their eyes meet. "Keira, I'm not interested."

That drove a metaphorical knife through her heart, but also made her convulse further. She wasn't letting go of that dream, not by any chance. Not even when the blonde whispered, _let go_ , and she realized things.

"You want me to wake up," she realized, and the mental image of her boss shrugged. " _Why_!?"

"Because here, it would be nothing but a dream," amber eyes pierced blue, "and you know you want it to be a reality. If this dream of yours were to become true, do you think you would willingly wake up?"

"As it is, I can't do it alone," she whispered, once again afraid.

"But if we end up married, don't you think you'll fight whoever comes after you?" Cat asked in a soft tone, that tone she she only took with Carter. When no pain to her plexus assaulted her, she began to fear things even more. "I know you, I know those with whom you associate yourself," it was a knowing, calculating look, "we know they'll come, they'll tear this dream apart and get you out."

She felt, for the first time, what it was that had left her in such an induced sleep, and felt it tremble. Whatever it was, it knew the truth, that Kara wouldn't be kept docile, not with dream Cat acting like that.

"But, this is everything I could want," she voiced, feeling weak at her admitted desire, "my planet, my family, my cousin who, by the way, looks very much like Carter, I would be happy, and then there's you, here, with me."

"For all eternity, condemned with the way you see me, not fully living by your side as you want," the woman huffed and rolled her eyes, "well then, I suggest a truce."

"Truce?" Her heart beat raced, wondering.

"Yes, a truce," those hazel orbs rolled once again, "did you lose your vocabulary?"

"No! I was just — surprised, it's all," she confessed with a blush, and she finally heard that lovely laugh. "So, what do you propose?"

"Let's see how smoothly we can work this marriage thing," Cat suggested, smile in place, "and once we're married, your dream will come true.

"That's all you must wish for," she stated sternly, locking eyes with mellow blue, "or do you think it would be wise to kill your aunt and uncle, just to ensure we have a child of our own?"

"No!" The words send a shock through her system, leaving her winded and struggling to catch her breath. "No."

She began repeating the word, holding herself tight, and feeling comfort when the older woman held her tight, and began rocking her, she began sobbing, because she knew that was another of her desires, to have Carter in her life and back with his mother, where he belonged. So, she agreed, because she could see the wisdom in it.

* * *

It wasn't easy. Whatever was holding her captive, wanted to prolong the dream, even if this meant turning it into a nightmare. The council protested, threatened to take Cat from her place among them when the woman hadn't agreed or disagreed.

"It was her choice, I have never given her any indication of affection, not even while she has helped me," Cat stated, crossing her arms and basically, washing her hands in regards to the subject, "I've never, not once, been alone with her."

And that was the truth. She clearly didn't care about her position in the high council, never mind that she was the first among the art guild who joined. The way she kept her poise, it was clear and evident that she deserved her position nonetheless. They begrudgingly accepted her words, since they held no foundation on Cat corrupting the young blonde, or displayed any romantic intentions other than their usual, mostly work-related, interactions.

"Why would you go through with this, Kara?" Alura asked, wishing to understand. "She isn't your age."

"Are you sure you want to do this, Little One?" Astra inquired on her own.

"Kara, hummingbird," Zor-El kneeled down, face imploring, "can you at least explain to us?"

"I can explain to the higher council my choice," she stated confidently.

Thus, a date was schedule, and this followed any and all proceedings that had to. Only, the council kept postponing it, then began asking for other things, and before she knew it, it felt like a month long, and Kara felt her energy being drained. With a huff, and a snarl. She decided to face the council and demand her request be heard. She wanted her dream, wanted her reality back if this was how it would go. The pain assaulted her again, but she endured and fought it. This was her dream, then she wouldn't be denied.

Withstanding the searing pain, she moved, and apparently as long as she kept the dream charade up, she wouldn't be hurt. Once she appeared before the council, this stopped their debates.

"I come to make my voice heard," she stated clearly, tone making her displeasure at being made to wait, evident. "I was promised a hearing, with no date set."

"Youngster, there are —"

"The proceedings are doing nothing but hinder me and my wishes," she snapped back, not willing to hear her elders in this case. "I will _not_ be made to wait, when the first date was set three days after the request was made, and subsequently a month and a half has transpired since, without any sign.

"So I'm here to make myself be heard!"

They were all stunned. Clearly, this wasn't a child any longer.

"Very well," one of the heads began, clearing his throat, "if you wish to marry into her family, you might want to consider Dam-Fo; his military training might be questionable, but he has proved himself to be an asset."

"If you wish for a female," a woman began this time, "we have on good faith that Lucy Sam-La has expressed an interest, although her and Jim-Ol of Vathlo have begun courting."

"I wish to marry Cat, and have her be part of my House, the House of El," she stated calmly, ignoring the scowls. "I wish for someone with the intelligence and capabilities to challenge me, I do not wish to grow into such knowledge, but grow with new experiences and memories, with _her_.

"We value intelligence, yet I feel you're crippling my earnest plea to seek it from her at a more romantic level," she said, her voice urgent and honest in its request. "I wish to be part of her life and for her to be part of mine and for Rao to bless our union."

"She already made such vows!" A woman countered vehemently.

"And the man _died_ to save us all," Kara replied in an equal adamant stand, "thus, she must remain on her own, when Rao saw it fit to take the man she had been blessed with?"

"She has a child your age!" A man cried in outrage.

"Yet, you declare she is without House," she countered in one exhale, rendering them quiet. "Why is my choice in partner being questioned?

"Lucy and Jim-Ol are great candidates — they all _are_ great candidates," she emphasized, "but I do not feel my happiness lies with any of them.

"I choose Cat," she stated simply, extending an arm at the woman, "I do not wish for anyone else."

"Your head of House, does he agree?" The oldest man, and wisest, one who hadn't spoken at all, inquired.

Zor-El appeared. "My house agrees," he stated, and behind him all, Alura, Jor-El, Lara, and even little Ka-El, nodded in unison.

"I also wish to voice my approval," Astra said, coming to stand besides her niece, "Cat will know to treat my, and with my sister's approval I speak this word, daughter, in a fair way."

"Very well," the man said in an exhale; he looked and sounded clearly tired, "seeing as her reasoning is valid, and no one has been able to discredit her, I give my approval."

Five agreed, four disagreed, and the turning point had been his decision; he was by far the wisest man in Krypton. Kara, unrestrained, turned to the woman and ran towards her, picking her up with a laugh and twirling her around. How she wished to be able to do so back in reality. Tightening her embrace, she inhaled the other woman's scent, and loved how her brain was able to trigger the memory of it. At least for now, this would be real, and she would gladly continue sleeping.

Just as the thought formed, once she felt at peace with her world and her reality, she felt the worst pain possible that threatened to consume her, and it did. She was then left bare and without memories, waking all over again. How many dreams had she had? How many different desires could she have? Why couldn't she wake up?

Cat had helped her come close last time, she knew — _felt_ that much. And something told her that this time, there wouldn't be anyone to save her. No Carter, no Adam, no Cat Grant, and she felt hollow. Another wreaking pain and she woke up again, wondering once again, how many times she would wake up in a dream, just for it to turn into a nightmare. When would it end?

 _I know you, I know those with whom you associate yourself, we know they'll come, they'll tear this dream apart and get you out._

All she could do was believe, and she woke up again, in her bed, in her lovely white dress, and the pain took all the memories away, made her doubt, hesitate. She could have sworn she heard Cat speak again, _white kryptonite, killing all plant form, would come in handy_ — and pain was searing through her again.

How many times would she wake up in a dream? Could she keep waking up, without waking up? Inception suddenly took a wrong turn, but her muddled thoughts left her without concept of reality. How could she be sure, it was just a dream? Because someone important once told her, _they'll come, they'll tear this dream apart and get you out_ and she believed those words, even if she felt she might have broken through on her own.

* * *

The next time she saw her cousin, Kal-El, he looked nothing like Carter, and while she didn't even notice, her heart felt the difference and constricted painfully.


End file.
